To Live Again
by FateRogue
Summary: They had a great childhood, and all were close—Lexa, Costia, and Costia's younger sister, Rayna. They were inseparable, the best of friends. But after the death of Costia, Rayna and Lexa change. Can the two learn to live again while trying to do what's best for their people after the arrival of Skaikru? (Bad at summaries, sorry)


**I watch The 100 constantly, am currently watching Season 4 on tv, and I love it! However, I decided to make this and do things a bit...differently. But I hope you like it anyway. Please review and tell me what you think!**

Costia sat calmly on the forest floor, watching as her friend Lexa and younger sister (though only by a few months) Rayna raced to the middle of the lake. They had been playfully insulting each other when the subject of their swimming skills came up, and the two had jumped at the chance to outbeat the other; Costia found it amusing, personally. They had always been easy to rile up in ways such as that when they were all together. When Lexa was not with them, she was with her warrior, Anya (who was six and seven years their senior at twenty), who was training the nightblood as her second.

Lexa and Rayna both turned in unison and began to swim back, though Lexa began to outpace her when Rayna suddenly stopped and sunk beneath the water with a shout; the older girl turned and Costia started, leaping to her feet when she saw her sister appear above the water, thrashing. She was caught in the grip of a large snake, and just as she managed to gasp for air, was pulled under again.

"Get Anya!" Lexa shouted at her. "And throw me my dagger!"

The two girls had stripped themselves of their weapons, so as to not be weighed down, and they were all laid out upon the shore; Costia did not think, merely tossed the dagger to her friend and took off at a sprint.

She hoped that Anya was close by, because she did not want to leave her sister and best friend alone with that monstrous thing.

She finally made it to the village and darted in and out of people, searching, but there was no sight of Anya; Costia skidded round a corner and was forced to a halt, however, when said woman appeared in front of her.

Costia drew herself up short, panting slightly, and said frantically, "We need your help!"

"What trouble have you gotten into this time?" Anya said carelessly, already moving to walk past her.

Alright, sure, they all got into a few misadventures, but this was different, and so the tan skinned girl jumped in front of the fearsome warrior, who stared down at her with a raised brow.

"It's Lexa and Rayna," Costia tried again, more desperately this time. They could be dead by now! "They were swimming in the lake and a large snake got Rayna—Lexa stayed back to help—"

"Let's go."

Anya did not question her further, instead ran off, leaving Costia with no choice but to follow, attempting to keep up behind the young woman, who was very fast. When they reached the lake, she could see both Lexa and Rayna trapped in the snake's tight grip, struggling furiously; Lexa was hacking at its body with her dagger, but one quick strike from the animal had the weapon falling into the water.

Costia could feel her inner panic rise as Anya waded out into the water and struck out at the beast. It hissed in pain and made to lunge at her, but the distraction only served to make it loosen its grip on the two girls; it was Rayna who squirmed free and dropped into the water below, unable to be seen.

Lexa cursed loudly and wriggled about some more as Anya gave the snake a particularly large slice across just below its neck.

A dark head popped back above the water, mouth open in a silent gasp for air, and Costia recognized it as her own sister, who swam around to where Anya was still engaging the beast in combat.

Rayna raised her arm, and in it was Lexa's dagger as she plunged it as hard as she could into the neck of the snake, which had been about to wrap Anya in its embrace; the result was instantaneous.

The snake whipped around with a loud, strangled hiss, and bit down hard on Rayna's left upper arm, causing her to scream; Anya took this opportunity to swing her sword again, and the snake's head was severed from its body, which collapsed bonelessly into the water.

Lexa appeared again above the water, wide eyed, and Anya must have instructed her to move to shore, because she did as she was told. Once there, she gripped Costia's hand hard.

"I got it a few times," she said breathlessly. "But it got me, too. I'm glad you got to Anya when you did. Thank you."

Anya made her way back to shore, Rayna leaning heavily into her side and watching them with half lidded eyes; the bite on her arm poured red blood.

"Is she going to be alright?" Costia cried, getting as close as she could to inspect the wound her sister had acquired; it looked deep and would surely scar, and she was fairly sure Rayna would live, but she was not yet a fully experienced healer. She could not kno for sure.

"Yes," Anya grunted, hefting the girl into her arms. "Fine. I am taking her to Nyko—you two will come with me. No more time by the lake."

"But—" began Lexa, but scowled when the young woman merely shot her an unamused look.

The young woman did not speak again, merely began to walk away, and Costia hurried to help Lexa grab the weapons before following.

~~~xxx~~~

When Rayna awoke, Costia and Lexa were the first to notice and rushed to her bedside.

"Wha'?" the younger girl mumbled, squinting at them. She blinked a few times as the two moved in closer, and then rubbed her eyes, pushing herself to sit up. "I didn't die?"

"No," Lexa informed her, before teasingly adding, "you didn't. Sadly for me."

Rayna swatted at the girl with her good arm. "Shof op, Lexa. But, really, Tia, why am I not dead? The snake was poisonous, wasn't it?"

"It was," confirmed Costia. "But Nyko managed to extract the poison, and you get to keep your arm. But it will scar terribly."

Her sister grinned. "Good. I get _my_ battle scars before the great _Lexa_."

"Shof op, Rayna," Lexa mocked her previous words, rolling her eyes, but nevertheless chuckled. "He told us to inform you when you wake that you need to see him to replace the bandage once a day or more, and to put the cream on it for it to heal."

"Alright," Rayna nodded readily and peeled back the bandage a bit to inspect her arm. It was a bit swollen and red, though no longer oozing pus or blood as it had been, and the bite marks looked a bit grotesque on her tanned skin. She folded the bandage back. "That was disgusting. I don't think I like it so much right now. Maybe later."

Anya suddenly came striding into the tent and towered over the three girls, who all slowly glanced up at her.

"You were foolish," she began sharply. "to be swimming where you know the snake resided. Thinking it was gone was a mistake. You must always be prepared."

"Yes, Anya," the three girls chorused obediently. Costia could see how Rayna's hazel eyes did not once stray from the general, who stared back impassively; she could tell her sister was seeing Anya in a new light now.

"Understood?"

"Yes, Anya."

"Good." The warrior turned. "Then I shall take my leave. Lexa, come with me. You have extra training to do. Rayna," she looked back briefly. "Indra wishes to see you."

Lexa nodded in farewell to her companions, before following her warrior; Costia smiled at her sister and patted her on the back as she stood and went as well.

~~~xxx~~~

Rayna was now Indra's second, and had been for at least a year; at fourteen, she was not better than Lexa, but under the older woman's tutelage, began to flourish. Costia herself spent more time with Nyko, for the young man had decided he would train her to be a healer like himself, as she had always wanted.

Today, as it was, was the first day as of late that any of them had any sort of free time. So, they spent their day in the forest, relaxing and bantering playfully.

Rayna dangled from a branch by her knees and stared down at them, feeling the blood rush to her head.

"Lexa, I think I like you more from this angle," Rayna teased, swaying slightly as she tilted her head.

"Shof op," the older girl said dismissively, and a hand reached up to tug at Rayna's arm; the dark haired girl yelped and fell from the tree, hitting her head as she went.

"Hey!" Rayna rubbed her head. "Tia, she hurt me!"

"You insulted her," pointed out Costia, but nevertheless smiled at her sister and pressed a kiss to her hair. "Better, you goufa?"

"I want one from Lexa," her younger sister said staunchly.

"Why?"

"Because she's the one who injured me," she pouted.

Costia found this a bit more amusing than she should have as she turned to Lexa. "Well? Are you going to kiss my poor, defenseless baby sister better?"

"I don't want to," Lexa protested, though she was obviously attempting to keep her face as impassive as Anya's would have been. She was doing well, at least, until Costia grabbed her hand and, sighing dramatically at Rayna, put on a pout to match her sister's. "But...but…"

"Come on, Lex, it won't hurt," Costia jutted her lower lip out further, and beside her, Rayna was whining pitifully while clutching her head.

"I...I don't want to," Lexa repeated, crossing her arms. However, her facade cracked, and she grumbled to herself, sulking, "She insulted me."

But, nevertheless, when Rayna pressed close to her, she dropped a reluctant kiss to the younger girl's temple; when she pulled back, she wiped at her mouth, scrunching her nose in distaste.

Costia could not help but chuckle, while Rayna laughed and fell back onto the forest floor.

~~~xxx~~~

"I love her."

"What?"

"I love her," Lexa said with certainty.

Rayna blinked at her. "Tia?"

"Yes."

"My Tia?"

"Yes."

"My big _sister,_ Tia?"

"Yes!" Lexa waved her arms, out of patience with this. She knew the younger girl was partly teasing her, of course—they did that to one another often. But this was certainly not something to joke about!

"Oh. Okay." Rayna paused, and leaned in very close to study her. Lexa forced herself not to twitch or possibly push her friend backward. "You're sure?"

"More than anything in my life," the nightblood readily told her, nodding quickly. "She is beautiful, and kind, and I love the way her hair smells and how soft her hands are and—"

"You're rambling, branwada."

"Shof op!"

The younger girl held up her hands in surrender. "You _were._ Are you going to tell her, or not?"

"I can't just _tell_ her!" Lexa groaned. She did not know why she went to Rayna, of all people, with this. "She's Costia, it has to be special!"

Rayna smiled at that, but pointed out, "But like you said, she's Costia. She wouldn't care if you did something grand or not. She'd only care about you."

Lexa stopped. "Does she?"

"What?"

"Care for me the way I do her?"

"Yes."

"Are you _sure?"_ Lexa stressed, feeling a sudden anxiety overtake her. "If she doesn't, I'll have made a fool of myself and lost her friendship, and I don't want that to happen, Rayna!"

" _I'm sure,"_ repeated Rayna more firmly this time. She wondered when, exactly, it had become her giving _Lexa_ love advice. "Now, go train with Anya to keep your mind off it for now. Costia is still with Nyko."

"Alright, okay," Lexa nodded, though more to herself than the younger girl as she got up, turned, and began to walk away. She could be heard muttering things to herself as she went.

Rayna briefly lifted herself from the ground to watch her friend go. "You're welcome!"

~~~xxx~~~

"I think I love her."

"What?" Rayna stared at Costia, wondering how she had found herself in this position _again._ First Lexa, and now Costia? They really were smitten!

"I think I love her," she repeated.

"Oh." The younger girl was silent for a few moments, before deciding that she was not going to sit around wasting time like she had with Lexa, and patted her sister hard on the back. "Then go get your girl!"

Costia got to her feet, but wrung her hands together nervously. "But, I don't know if she even—"

She did not get to finish, because Rayna had gotten to her feet with an over-dramatic sigh and reassured her, "Trust me, she does. She looks at you like...like a starving man looks at his first meal in months." She suddenly cringed. "Wait, wait, that was terrible. Like…er, she looks at you like you are the most precious thing in all creation. Yes, that's better!"

"Really?" Costia stared at her. She had always hoped that Lexa felt the same...perhaps now was truly her chance?

"Really." The fourteen-year-old girl nodded, and then grinned. "Now, go get her, Tia."

"Go get her, yes, I can do that…" the healer mumbled to herself, before turning on her heel and beginning to stride away; as she went, her sister called out, "And tell me how it went!"

~~~xxx~~~

When Costia finally found Lexa, she was meditating underneath a tree, legs crossed and back straight; it was a tactic Anya had taught her to clear her mind, so that she would not overthink things during a spar.

"Lexa?" she started a bit nervously.

The nightblood twitched, and her eyes fluttered; it was obvious that she was trying to keep them closed, but it seemed that she could not resist opening one and then the other curiously.

"Yes?"

"I have something to tell you," Costia let out a breath, repeating the words her sister said in her mind, _She likes you. She does. She looks at you like a starving man does his first meal in months—no, not that one, not that one. She looks at you like you are the most precious thing in all creation. Yes, that's it. You can do this, you can do this…_

"Costia?" Lexa stood, and was staring at her with a small frown, brows drawn together in confusion. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes," Costia nodded quickly. "I'm sorry, I was thinking. I have something to tell you."

"Alright," the brunette fidgeted on her feet as she waited, though a strange look crossed her face and she suddenly said, "I have something to tell you, too, actually."

"You go first—"

"You can go—"

They stopped and stared at each other. This was obviously not going to work.

"You go," Costia said after a moment, swallowing hard.

"No, you."

"It's alright, you can go."

"Costia."

"Lexa."

The two girls actually cracked smiles at that, and Lexa suggested, "At the same time?"

"Okay," Costia nodded.

"One, two—"

"I love you!" they both blurted in unison, and two sets of eyes, one green and one brown, widened almost comically. "What? You love me?"

"Stop!" Costia exclaimed, unable to stop herself from giggling. Her previous nervousness had faded, and she held up a hand. "Stop, hold on, this is ridiculous. Go on."

"I love you," Lexa repeated firmly. "I do. I talked to Rayna today, and she helped me realize I should tell you."

"I talked to her, too!" Costia stared at Lexa, wondering exactly how they had both chosen to go to her younger sister for advice. This really _was_ strange. "She helped me work up the courage to come find you…"

The grin from the brunette was nearly blinding. "And you love me?" She took a step closer.

"Yes." The darker haired girl nodded, never having been more sure of anything in her life as she, too, took a step forward. "I do."

There was a moment of silence as they stood chest to chest, and Lexa whispered hesitantly, "May I kiss you?"

Costia did not respond, merely closed the distance and pressed their lips together.

When both pulled away, they were smiling happily.

~~~xxx~~~

"Told you so," Rayna told Anya from the bush they were hiding in. The warrior had been about to go and drag Lexa off for more training, but had been apprehended by Rayna instead. She had informed the woman of what, exactly, she would be interrupting, and said that under no circumstances was she to interrupt them yet or at all. Anya had glared at her at first, waiting for her to simply step aside, but the girl had not relented and so the warrior had reluctantly allowed herself to be dragged into a bush to hide and spy.

"I am a warrior," Anya grumbled. "I should not be spying on my second as she confesses her love to her friend, much less watching them kiss."

"You're also hiding in a bush."

"Shof op." The glare the girl received promised pain, and she clamped her mouth shut, though her lips curled into a smile against her will. This was all too amusing.

~~~xxx~~~

"Anya!" Rayna yelled, the fifteen-year-old swinging down from the branch of a tree when she saw the warrior striding briskly past. "Anya!"

Anya did not stop moving, and so the teen flipped herself upright and dropped to the ground. She hurried after the warrior, attempting to keep up with her longer legs and superior speed.

Rayna finally managed to catch up to her, and repeated, "Anya!"

"What?" Anya finally growled, giving her a sideways glance. "If you tell me you're bored…"

"I am." The girl sighed. "Indra is off on some mission alone, and Costia and Lexa are enjoying their free time together."

"And you couldn't have gone with them?" The tone of the woman's voice indicated mild exasperation, though nowhere near to the scale it would have been two years ago; she had not exactly mellowed out, but Anya had certainly gotten used to the girl by now.

"No," Rayna picked up her speed as Anya did and shook her head. "I didn't want to. I've got nothing to do. What are you doing?"

"Going on a walk." The way it was said made it sound as though it were obvious.

"Can I come?"

"No."

"Anya!"

"No."

"But—"

"No."

"But I—"

"No."

"Anya—"

"No," Anya repeated firmly, and continued on her way. However, she grumbled to herself when she could not lose Rayna, who was persistently keeping up with her, chattering the whole way.

"I won't be any trouble, and it's always good to have backup, right? I mean, I'm not as good as you, but I can hold my own, and I promise I won't bother you _too_ much as long as I can go. Leaving me to my own devices for long isn't a good idea, anyway—do you remember the time I almost set fire to the village? And—"

"Fine."

"—I think that...what?"

"Fine," Anya muttered, rolling her eyes as the teenager cheered. She raised her voice a moment later. "So long as you can be quiet the whole way."

Rayna regarded her with wide eyes and clamped her jaw shut determinedly as they made their way through the forest.

When they reached a decent sized body of water with a magnificent waterfall flowing into it, however, she could not help herself from asking, "I thought you were going on a walk?"

Anya tipped her head back and groaned loudly. "I was, you branwada. And then I was going to swim, because it is hot outside and I have been sparring all day. I wanted to be _alone."_

"Well," the dark haired girl peeked over at her, though a bit sheepishly. "Now you've got company?"

The woman did not answer, instead begun to strip off her armor and clothing, leaving herself in nothing but the wrap across her chest and her underwear; Rayna turned away until she heard the splash, signifying that Anya was in the water.

Rayna was not sure if she wanted to get in or not. It was indeed hot outside, and the water looked very inviting…

"Well?"

"Well, what?" She turned her head to glance at Anya, who stood chest deep in the water with a raised brow.

"You are getting in, aren't you?"

"You won't try to drown me?"

"Perhaps." That was all Anya offered before disappearing beneath the water, and Rayna decided then that she would get in, anyway, for the cool water would surely be worth dying for.

She stripped down as Anya had and waded out into the water, shivering slightly, but then relishing at the feeling as she got more adjusted to the chill the farther out she got. She still could not see Anya, and though she scanned about, did not see the warrior anywhere, nor hear her.

But she definitely felt her when a calloused hand grabbed her ankle and yanked her underwater.

Rayna's eyes widened, and she barely stopped herself from opening her mouth to yelp as she struggled against the woman, who seemed keen on really drowning her; when she kicked the warrior hard in the stomach, Anya let go and allowed her to swim away.

Once at a safe distance, Rayna watched Anya pop up above the water, hair slicked back on her head, war paint washed away, revealing the sharp angles of her face.

"I thought you weren't going to drown me!" Rayna accused, heart pounding from the encounter.

"I did not agree," Anya replied calmly. "I only said that perhaps I might, or perhaps not. Consider it a training lesson—never underestimate your opponent."

The teen scowled at her for a moment, but then noticed the way the warrior's lips had quirked up in a small, amused smirk as she watched with folded arms.

"You were pranking me!" Rayna realized. That was all but unheard of from Anya, and this left the younger warrior stupefied; the ever serious Anya had _pranked_ her?

"You escaped." That was the closest she would get to a yes.

"So you weren't _really_ going to drown me?"

Anya merely shrugged noncommittally and sank back into the water, swimming away to do a lap in the pond; Rayna got a brilliant idea, then. Perhaps it was stupid, maybe foolish, but she just _had_ to do it now that the idea had come to mind.

While Anya was not paying attention, Rayna swam to shore and moved to scale the large rock at the top of the waterfall; it took her a bit of time to get up, but she had always been a good climber. Once at the top, she looked down at the roaring waterfall and felt a thrill go through her; it was a bit frightening from up here, being very high up, but she was sure it would be alright. After all, other people did this sort of thing all the time!

The girl readied herself, took a few steps back, ran, and jumped.

As she plummeted the air, she could feel a shriek tear its way through her throat on the way down; from fear or excitement, she did not know. But when she hit the water, it gave a resounding thwack, and she sunk beneath, feeling a bit stunned from the impact; she could not move for a few moments, as a matter of fact, and felt a sharp pain on her temple. This was not what was supposed to happen. Why did it hurt?

Her heart pounded, and she realized that she did not know how to break herself out of the stupor she was in; her lungs burned fiercely, and her mouth opened of it's own accord to suck in a breath. Rayna choked, and thankfully, an arm seized her around the waist and tugged her above the water.

She could hear her name being spoken repeatedly, and the volume increased after a few moments of no response; there was a sharp sting to her cheek, and she blearily opened her eyes to find Anya hovering over her.

Rayna choked again, both at the sight and because of the water still inside her lungs; the warrior shifted and slammed her free hand onto the girl's back hard, once, twice, three times, and then again. Rayna spluttered and coughed until her throat was sore, water spilling past her lips and down her chin. When she could finally breathe again, she gasped for air. The pain on her temple remained.

"What?" she coughed. "My head hurts."

"Idiot!" Anya cursed her, jerking them both back to shore and tossing her onto the ground. "Why would you jump from there?"

"I've seen others do it," Rayna blinked and paused to take in another breath. "It looked fun."

"Fun? You could have died, branwada!" There was a tear, and a piece of cloth was pressed firmly to her temple. Anya continued to grumble, "If you had done it right, you wouldn't have hit the rock. You should have asked me before attempting something so foolish, especially when you didn't know what you were doing."

"I'm sorry?" Rayna frowned at her. The woman actually sounded...worried? That was strange. Today really _was_ a different day.

"You'd better be," the woman scowled at her and turned her head away; when she moved her hand away from the girl's head, she could feel fingers brush ever so lightly over the wound before the touch disappeared altogether. "The bleeding has not stopped yet." The strip of cloth proved to be quite long when Anya tied it around Rayna's head, pulling perhaps a bit too tightly. "Get dressed. We are going to Nyko."

"Yes, Anya."

Obediently, Rayna got dressed, and on their walk back, she noticed that Anya's midriff was strangely exposed when it had not been before.

She hid a smile.

~~~xxx~~~

When Lexa became Heda at sixteen and won the conclave, many people cheered and bowed to her. When she was presented officially as Heda, the blood washed from her body and warpaint applied to her face, she looked quite fearsome, and Rayna found herself kneeling between Costia and Anya, who were in similar positions as she.

Everyone was. They listened carefully as Lexa listed off the names of all the previous commanders, proving that she was worthy of the title and position, and Rayna wondered how she was faring. Though it was their way, she had had to kill her nightblood comrades, and that had to have affected her somehow, right?

In private, later, in the Commander's tent, seeing Lexa seated on the throne for the first time, Rayna had the pleasure of seeing Costia struck dumb at the sight.

"Congratulations, Heda," she greeted softly.

"Congratulations, Heda," Rayna echoed, and over the extremely dark, curly mass of her sister's hair, she could see both Anya and Indra standing at the edge of the tent, watching impassively.

"Thank you," Lexa said calmly, as Heda should. Rayna could see her old friend in a new light, now; she had always been a good fighter, but in the conclave...she was unstoppable. Unbeatable. No one had stood a chance. "You may rise."

They did so.

"May we take a walk together, Heda?" Costia stood straight, waiting; Gustus stood in the corner, watching with a careful eye.

Rayna could have sworn she'd seen Lexa's lips twitch. "We may."

The Commander stood and made her way to the tent flap beside her lover, and she glanced back at Rayna and nodded once, before they disappeared.

Rayna was not sure she wanted to imagine what would be happening on that walk and made a face; in the corner, Anya smirked.

~~~xxx~~~

Costia's kidnapping was hard on everyone three years later. She had been traveling with a small assortment of warriors and healers on their way to a nearby village of which had been attacked by the Azgeda. Everyone in their party had been killed, except for Costia—she had been taken. They had not seen her in a month.

Nights were spent primarily with Lexa, for Rayna had forced her way into the Commander's chambers, defying all orders. The two shared her bed, slept back to back for comfort, for they needed each other then so that they would not drown in their worry.

Things had been bleak, then. But now…

Now, as Rayna felt the bile rise to her throat at the sight of her sister's severed head sitting on Lexa's bed, things were positively devastating.

Lexa came bursting through the door, then, demanding, "What happened?"

She had obviously been informed by the guard who had been with Rayna that something terrible had happened, though she did not know what. Not yet.

Rayna could not speak. Instead, one hand over her mouth, she raised a shaky hand and pointed to the bed; when Lexa saw, her sword clattered from her hand and she fell to her knees.

"No," the young woman breathed, and Rayna could see her hand reach out, mere inches from Costia's cheek; the empty sockets staring back made the Commander flinch back violently, and she fell onto her rear. " _C-Costia."_

Rayna forced herself to reach out and grab Lexa by the arm, tugging as hard as she could manage until the other woman scooted back, eyes wide, entire form trembling, looking as if her entire world had just fallen apart.

And it had, for both of them. The most important person in their lives was gone, and what was worse was what had obviously been done to her. Just by seeing her face, the empty sockets, they knew, they could tell.

Her throat constricted, and Rayna could feel Lexa's arms wrap around her tightly, her friend burying her face in her hair; Lexa's breath hitched, and Rayna could hear her swallow hard. There was something wet hitting her neck, but she did not care, merely clutched Lexa like a lifeline as she curled closer, disbelieving.

 _They killed her. They_ tortured _her._ The young warrior let out a strangled sob. _Costia. My big sister. My Tia._

Lexa drew her in closer, still quivering, breathing ragged, and laid a hand on the back of her head, fingers tangling in her hair.

" _Ray. I-I…"_

" _I know."_

How they could live without Costia was something unknown to the both of them; they had been a trio for as long as Rayna could remember. Her sister had always been there, and so had Lexa...but now...now was different. There were no words for such a thing, for how they felt.

This would change the both of them, now, for better or for worse.


End file.
